11.21.18

No matter how cold the air feels against my skin, it can not be as harsh as the day that you left. 

Left without warning, like you had to escape in the night. 

As if I was something that was to be afraid of. 

When, in reality, you were the one that left me with the broken pieces of my heart and soul.

My dignity. 

Part of my existence. 

I will never understand why you thought it was me against you. 

6.7.18

Today, I feel empowered. 
Invincible, as if I can do anything.
Be anything. 
Maybe my mind tricks me into believing that I am nothing so that I do not hone into my true power.
My excellence. 
Maybe I will shock everyone. 
Maybe I will rise above to be everything that they said I would not. 
A smile spreads across my lips and I feel a radiance come over me. 
I can make it through the storm. 

6.3.18

I wish I could go back in time and spare myself of ever coming across your path.

You invaded my life with your charismatic words, and I, fell into them like you knew I would. 

Trapped with your manipulation. 

I did not know how to escape it, I thought you were the best thing for me. 

Caught up you, I slowly began to lose myself. 

I lost myself in someone that was not good enough. 

That was not worthy of my presence in their life. 

Even though time has passed, I still do not remember who I was before I met you. 

I do not remember my innocent self. 

5.30.18

I have been without your embrace for what seems a lifetime. 

Am I selfish for wanting you? 

Every moment of every day. 

I never imagined that I was going to love you this much.

Or love you at all for that matter. 

What have you done to me?

You've opened up my mind. 

My soul. 

Your voice replays over in my head along with the memories that we share. 

I like the way your lips part as you say my name. 

Addictive. 

I wish that I could be held in your arms and against you

so that I can hear your heartbeat as I lay my ear on your chest. 

Boom Boom. Boom Boom. Boom Boom. 

Your heart beats fast and I cannot think of any other moment that is more perfect than this one. 

I can hear your heartbeat and I know that life fuels within you.

I'm in love because you are alive. 

5.29.18

Today
I managed to get out of bed.
"That's it?" you might say.
Yes, that's it.
In fact, it was the most that I have done in these past couple of weeks besides rotting away in my bed.
These are my steps to victory.
To recovery.
Don't judge my length of progress.

12.1.15

People might see a girl that smiles every so often, but otherwise looks like stone.

A girl that spits out negative things, but yet can be so positive at times.

Someone that is on their phone all of the time but no one hears from at all during the night.

Who will sit up at 2 a.m. to watch movies and cry with you over Chinese food about the boy who broke your heart, but yet keeps her feelings padlocked with an invisible key.

I hide the way I truly feel because I cannot stand when people get to close to me, both physically and mentally.

I oftentimes push people away before they even have a chance to say hello.

I laugh until I cry and I giggle with my friends, but that’s not how I feel on the inside.

I feel fervent love and give my all to only one person, my boyfriend.

That is the only time I feel like I can breathe, when I’m with him.

He is the only one that I trust with all my heart.

Some might say that I am too young to know what love is, or maybe they are too blind when it comes to realizing that anyone can fall in love at any time and any place.

I did.

One man changed my entire life, for the better not for worse.

He’s my world and he made living in this town and seeing the same people that I always do not so impossible to manage.

I get good grades and my parents are still together, I have a house, clothes, and food.

I have a job and my hopes are to go to college, I want to make more out of myself.

Some people say that I don’t have it hard and I don’t have anything to complain about.

But, in reality, does anyone ever know everything there is to know about someone?

That is me, of course.

I am shaded.

9.4.14

Society,

So judgmental. So quick to jump at others

But they don’t know everything about others like they think they do.

Always assuming something,

Judging and tearing each other down

It’s what we do right?

A form of self-defense, a common excuse.

Words and actions can hurt.

The pain is real.

People are killing each other and betraying one another.

Where is the trust and loyalty that we so commonly look for in a person?

The hurtful things that we say to one another in order to tear each other down.

Someone is different and they are looked down on.

They are swindled into believing that they are “below” everyone else.

Everyone just wants to be treated equality.

To feel as if they belong.

But that’s not always the case.

But there are kind people in the world you might say.

Perhaps there is.

But most just observe this problem and remain silent.

Where is the love and the compassion that we seek?

Domestic violence, verbal and physical.

Since when did the “I love yous” turn into fists and arguments

When did we stop protecting each other and start being purposely hurtful?

Why is love dying?

Does this generation even know what love is?

Black and White.

White vs. Black.

We are so quick to hate.

Belittling comments and actions that can potentially scar others.

Some have such a negative effect on others, that they take their own lives.

It slips under the radar, some people never know.

Some cover their face in shame every day.

Wanting to be someone else.

Wanting something someone else has.

Others just want to be noticed,

For someone to be proud of them.

Others just sneak on by and go through the motions.

The same routine happens every day.

People break down at night.

So quietly that no one is able to hear them,

To know the pain that they are expressing.

The pain is real for them, it’s what they feel every single day.

But then they wake up the next morning,

And put that mask on their face.

Again.

That is imperfection at its finest.